What is it about us humans that we feel the need to compare ourselves to others? Why isn’t is so hard to see the good in ourselves?
Comparison is the thief of joy. It sucks the joy from your life and leaves you with feelings of jealousy, resentment, and envy.
We all know it’s human nature to compare, but many people get caught up in the vicious and destructive cycle of comparing, then move right into finding fault with themselves. They end up feeling inadequate and small.
I’ve spent a good deal of time comparing myself to others. My particular focus has always been my body to others. My breasts were too small, my thighs were too big, my hips too wide. My high school friend went so far as to criticize my size 10 feetm throwing me into self-talk about how I wish my feet were smaller.
So much wasted time and energy.
Comparison Is The Thief of Joy
We all have our personal favorite comparison past time.
- Or maybe wanting to reach out to someone you met at an event or at the yoga studio. You hear that little voice in your head tell you, “She’s probably too busy/isn’t interested/doesn’t like me enough.”
But we’ve got to get a handle on this comparison beast and stop feeding it. Otherwise, we’ll never move forward and do the things in life we were meant to do.
Today, to help you out of the chains of comparison I’m sharing three super-beneficial tips. These are the same three tips I use whenever I hear that awful voice of comparison try to take over my thoughts and actions and stomp on my unique brilliance.
1. There’s A Personal Message Here To Help You Move Forward
When you notice someone else is achieving more than you or making more money in their business, it’s a signal that in some way, you haven’t been stepping up to the plate in the way you’re meant to.
Pretty much all of life’s circumstances are mirrors reflecting back to us what’s missing. So comparison becomes the mirror, reflecting back to you where you’ve been playing small instead of growing, stretching and pushing past your fear.
The reflection back is asking you to take a leap forward and grow.
Imagine you’re in a mastermind group with other entrepreneurs. This friend has a great month, bringing in lots of revenue and loads of new followers or clients. Outwardly you’re happy for her, but inwardly you feel less than adequate and small in comparison.
Where have you been holding back? Where do you need to grow? What can you be doing that you haven’t?
In the moment of answering these questions, you free yourself from the negative beast of comparison and can instead, see your friend’s success as an incredible gift — for you and her!
2. Put A Lid on the Trash Talk
When faced with the comparison of someone who is moving along in ways you wish you were, it’s tempting to trash talk the other person.
This is the shadow side of comparison, the one filled with envy or jealousy. We think it’s going to make us feel better to sling a little trash at them, but the reality is tearing someone else down only makes us feel worse. It deepens our feelings of limitation, lack, and fear.
Remember, you’re only comparing because you haven’t yet achieved what you were meant to do.
Instead of slinging slogans, ask yourself, “How can I learn from them?”
Use these insights to move you forward towards achieving what you want to do.
3. Look Back and Revel in How Far You’ve Come
I believe in moving forward, but here’s one time when looking back is useful.
Most people are uncomfortable with honoring how brilliant and amazing they truly are.
Turn the tables! Instead of comparing yourself to someone else, compare how far you’ve come compared to where you used to be.
I regularly call myself a technological idiot. But truth be told, if I look back to where I was a year or even six months ago, I’ve come leaps and bounds. I get to remind myself of this every time I handle another technological beast and am successful!
Set goals and track them. You’ll have concrete evidence to support you in looking back and celebrating those successes.
4. Remember No One Is Perfect
Truth be told, we all have flaws and limitations even if no one can see them with the naked eye. What we see on TV and on social media is just a snippet of someone; it is never the whole of anyone. So don’t get caught up in seeing others as perfect because it doesn’t exist. And remember they struggle with comparisons too.
5. Cultivate An Attitude of Gratitude
When you come from a place of being grateful for your talents and abilities, you’re less likely to make ugly comparisons with others. You are unique, brilliant and a work in progress. You get to choose what you want to improve upon in your life and when. No one else.
Gratitude allows you to be accepting of everything in your life.
Remember the journey is about you! Aim for your best and in doing so you’ll stay happy, challenged and thriving.